Jose & Tiana Watch: The Assassination of Gianni Versace, Episode 1
Updated: Jan 19, 2018
Each week, Tiana and I will be watching (and discussing) The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story. True to the series' namesake, we'll be picking out our best and worst fashion from each episode, as well as giving you a play-by-play, and finishing off with some overall thoughts. ~Spoilers ahead!~
In episode 1, we meet Andrew, find out he's full of shit, and watch him kill Versace. We also find out that he's apparently has a Minneapolis connection!
Tiana: Donatella obviously. TBH, I was a little underwhelmed with the fashion. it's a show about Versace. I expected more.
Jose: Donatella's all black ensemble from when we first see her. The gold accents of her belt make the outfit. Versace is a lot about excess (look at the damn house!). But, an all black outfit, with that black leather jacket and the pops of gold really are killer for me. Donatella was able to stand out by being simple while surrounded with so much extravagance. Also, I'm a sucker for gold.
Tiana: The red on red, and the tourists.
Jose: Andrew's all red ensemble. Although, the Hawaiian shirts came a close second for me.
So it begins...
TD: First thought of ACS: Darren Criss *tounge out emoji*
JM: Okay, if he had better hair, Versace could get it. Also...this house is so fucking extra...with that HUGE gate.
TD: The hair RUINS it. But seriously, let me fucking live there. Where do I apply to be a sugar baby?
JM: I'll be your reference.
TD: You're a good friend.
We see Andrew contemplating on the beach before going into the ocean.
JM: Okay, what's that scar? I feel like that's gonna come back to be something. Ok. Let me focus. Also, that ocean water doesn't look dirty enough. I miss the 90s. #pollution
TD: But the beach is nasty. His outfit is 90s af
JM: I'm getting Gaga at Hearst Castle vibes with this pool
TD: Omg, that's perfect
JM: Okay, I'm not over this house. Like, they custom built it, right? Or is Miami that extra that it has that fucking villa available for purchase.
TD: If you're Versace, maybe. Let me get a behind the scenes tour.
A tourist couple approaches Versace for an autograph as he exits his mansion.
JM: I call BS on those white tourists from the midwest knowing who Gianni Versace is and just walking up and asking for his autograph.
TD: Like, no Hawaiian shirt wearing motherfuckers are gonna care about VERSACE
Also. My mom was like "you know the guy who killed him was from Minneapolis?"** Fucking ruined.
JM: WHAT?!? I was about to say: RUINED.
**He isn't from Minneapolis, but he did kill his first victim in Minneapolis. (According to Wikipedia)
Andrew shoots Gianni Versace
JM: Ok, wow he's dead
TD: They wasted no time.
JM: Back to the Hawaiian shirt comment...they're tacky obviously, but I feel like the flip side of Hawaiian shirts are those fucking silk shirts Versace makes.
TD: Hahaha I want that.
JM: Just as tacky except for rich people! Wait, is Darren Criss (Andrew) wearing one now?
Flashback: Andrew making his way through a club in San Fran
JM: He's too dressed to be at this club.
TD: It's so night at the Roxbury.
JM: Andrew knows as much Italian as I do.
JM: "Agreeable looking man" can we add that to our vernacular?
JM: "Versace designs clothes for sluts."
Andrew tells this straight couple about meeting Gianni
TD: I'm so confused as to what Andrew's relationship to this couple is.
JM: Is this a trouple situation? That straight guy was clearly uncomfortable. I look forward to seeing Andrew blow him which I'm assuming is what'll happen. Also, I wish they had gotten Cameron Diaz to play this woman. I swear she looks like Cameron Diaz.
TD: Omg yes.
Gianni and Andrew after the Opera
TD: Dude. Andrew talks way too much...and is full of shit.
JM: He'd do so well on Twitter. The most unrealistic thing Andrew has said so far is that he's writing a novel.
TD: Like, do you think he'd ever be able to repeat that whole thing?
JM: Probably not.
Back to the scene of the crime
JM: Omg why did he have to kill a bird?
TD: That fake ass bird.
JM: RIP FAKE BIRD
JM: Um...why is the person who found Gianni's body so calm? Like, oh, let me examine the scene.
TD: Right?! Maybe he was in shock.
JM: He looked down, walked over to the body, looked around, and then ran after Andrew.
Gianni's partner, Antonio, exits and see his body on the steps outside the mansion
TD: LOL Ricky Martin
JM: YESSS Ricky Martin. I'm so glad we as a society are into him again.
TD: Like he never had to go away and live that vida loca without us.
JM: Omg Ricky Martin covered in blood. I'm getting Jackie Kennedy vibes and am here for it.
TD: DO ALL OF THOSE PEOPLE WORK FOR HIM?
Gianni is taken to the hospital, where they cut his black Versace shirt
JM: Oh, he's still alive...?
TD: Noooooooooo the shirt
JM: He's weearing his own shirt? ICONIC
TD: All this shirt happened before 9:21
Back to the scene of the crime, police on the scene
JM: Omg, these homophobic cops.
That tourist couple again...the woman places a Versace ad on the blood and put it in a plastic bag
TD: Crazy fucking tourists. How did they let her do that?
JM: Do you think she sold that on eBay?
TD: Ew probably. People are gross.
Andrew making his escape
TD: Also, if you went out with a fashion legend, why the fuck are you in this weird red on red ensemble?
JM: OH. MY. GOD. I THOUGHT THE EXACT SAME THING. They're not even matching reds.
FBI finding out about Gianni's assassination. They're sending agents.
JM: "The jeans guy." I cannot with straight men from the 90s.
TD: They are all terrible
JM: Thank god the 2000s gave us metrosexualism
TD: This bitch has killed more people?!
JM: Agent Evans is kind of a daddy. Dying at our differing priorities right now.
JM: I'm still so angry that Gaga is not playing Donatella.
TD: Omg. That is such a missed opportunity. Too bad she was slaying on the Joanne tour.
JM: Ugh, true.
Donatella makes her first appearance at the mansion after landing in a private jet
JM: Can they cover the blood so his sister doesn't have to walk through a crime scene? Donatella consoling a housekeeper is heartbreaking.
A police officer questions Antonio - he can't seem to understand their relationship
TD: Omg I can't with this cop.
JM: He has a mustache what do you expect?
JM: Make it trend!
JM: Can he change out of those bloody clothes already?
TD: But like imagine being in bloody clothes all day.
JM: I feel like at that point you do it for the attention, right? So people will ask about it?
A woman sees Andrew's picture on the news. Gives the police a lead to a possible location.
JM: Imagine wearing a pink bathrobe in the same episode where Gianni Versace wears a pink bathrobe.
JM: Max Greenfield?
TD: I think that is him!!
JM: How many white men with beards does Ryan Murphy have on his payroll? Damn.
TD: Ryan Murphy can have as many men with beards as he wants. Just no mustaches.
JM: Too true.
Tiana: I'm into it. I've never seen American Crime Story before, so I'm kind of getting used to how the show is structured. I was wondering how they would keep it interesting since it's a well known story. They're doing a great job of creating mystery around the characters. Especially Gianni and Andrew. AND, Darren Criss is a WAY better actor than I thought.
Jose: I appreciate that he killed Versace right away. I feel like we're getting into the mind of a killer this season, which, in my opinion, is Ryan Murphy at his best. Also, what I loved about the OJ ACS was the very subtle ways they played with themes of racism and sexism. I see that coming through in ACS: Versace already in the microaggressions from the cop interviewing Gianni's lover, Antonio, and that straight guy when Andrew was talking about meeting Gianni.
Follow along all season as Tiana and I watch and discuss The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story!